One of the most challenging things you have to address when going through a separation is how you are going to tell the kids, and what this means for them in terms of how you will live as a family moving forward.
This is likely to be one of the most disruptive periods a child can go through. They not only have to adjust to the fact that mum and dad are no longer going to live together, but that their living arrangement will very likely change significantly as well.
For the majority of separating couples, the family home will likely need to be sold to enable the splitting of assets and for each party to move forward. This may result in not only one new home for the kids to get used to, but possibly two homes as they bounce between living with mum and dad.
The key to a successful co-parenting arrangement with as little disruption as possible is to keep communication as open as you can. Not only with the kids, but also between mum and dad. This is often very difficult, particularly if the separation has become acrimonious and the parties are having difficulty communicating at all.
Separation is hard enough as it is, without having to drag the kids into a battle about where they stay and with whom. Naturally, life is not going to be the same as it was. Things will be different, and the kids will learn to adapt to that. When they feel they are pawns in a game between mum and dad they become very confused and feel the insecurity of their very existence.
It is so important for the kids to know that they continue to be loved despite the changes in circumstances between mum and dad. If a couple is able to move with grace around the kids—so their children feel that they are at the centre of mum and dad’s concerns—this will minimise the impact of an already anxious and unsettling environment.
At Conscious Separation, the focus is on maintaining an open dialogue with all parties, including the kids. This allows the difficult conversation around the kids’ future arrangements to be had early and continuously. It also helps achieve the outcome which respects the needs of all parties, and is aimed at providing ongoing access and connection between all parties.
These arrangements could include not only custody but financial issues to enable a fair and equitable sharing of the heart connection as well as the roles and responsibilities of both parents.
A conscious separation is one that demonstrates integrity, respect, empathy, and compassion from and to each and every party impacted by the changing circumstances.
If you would like to ensure that your co-parenting arrangement enhances rather than endangers your chance of maintaining a healthy, ongoing family dynamic—speak to us at Conscious Separation.
