One of the most stressful things you may go through is a separation or divorce. It is right up there with the death of a loved one. It’s easy to understand why, it is akin to the death of a relationship and in so many ways, life as you knew it up to that point.

With it comes a lot of uncertainty as you navigate things like:

• Living arrangements
• Financial arrangements
• Your social networks
• Your sense of self-worth
• Your ability to trust and love again
• What this means for your kids
• Your purpose and direction moving forward

Each and every one of these can cause stress within themselves, but to have to deal with them all at once can be overwhelming. It is little wonder then, that your mental health can become one of the greatest concerns for you and those closest to you. 

Your mental health includes your emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing. It affects how you think, feel, and act as you cope with the rigours of life. 

As your mental health deteriorates, so does your ability to cope with life’s challenges. If there is ever a time to maintain good mental health, it would be during a separation and divorce, as you have to manage an ever-changing landscape of uncertainty and insecurity.

There are ways you can support yourself and maintain your mental health and wellbeing during these difficult times, including:

• Eating well
• Getting good rest
• Finding activities that nourish you (walking, being in nature, exercise, and meditation)
• Being able to talk about your fears and concerns with people you trust and who are prepared to listen and not just provide well-meaning solutions

Often, the last thing you feel like doing during this time are the things listed above, but they do help you cope with challenges and uncertainty.

Finding emotional and psychological support is incredibly important, and can include both personal and professional support. Professional support can range from counselling to getting legal and/or financial advice on what your rights and options may be. 

Being informed of your rights is one way to reduce the stress of uncertainty. Seeking that education together with a sense of empathy and a genuine willingness to listen and simplify things is rare but possible.

It is never a good idea to make decisions or push ahead with difficult conversations around things like living and financial arrangements; or the care and custody of kids when you don’t feel informed or in control of your mental health. This can not only produce a greater sense of division and anger but may result in decisions and outcomes that you later come to regret.  

Finding a sense of grounding and clarity within yourself prior to these discussions empowers you to be less affected by emotional turmoil, anger, and resentment. This, in turn, supports you with being more clear in terms of your needs and strengthens your ability to listen and understand the needs of the other.

It is little wonder that when both parties feel uninformed and are suffering from poor mental wellbeing, conversations can turn into arguments. This results in neither party listening to the other and both of you walking away feeling like you cannot find a way through without engaging lawyers to undertake these conversations for you. What an expensive exercise that can be. 

There is an alternative. We specialise in helping couples find a less stressful way through separation/divorce, where you are provided with a supportive environment to be heard, empathised with, educated, and assisted in coming to your own decisions and forming the best outcome for everyone involved.  

Going through a conscious separation is about putting aside pain and anger and reverting to values like integrity, care, empathy, and understanding. Only by doing this can you part ways gracefully. This is also the only way to minimise the toll this takes on your emotional wellbeing and mental health while saving you thousands of dollars in legal battles where no one wins.  

At Conscious Separation, we ensure all parties are aware of their rights and supported through a mediation/facilitation process to find an outcome that you both deserve. We keep you in control of your own destiny. All this requires is a willingness to participate and keep an open mind about what is possible.

If this feels like an alternative path that you and your former partner are willing to try, please give us a call to learn more.