The decision to separate from your partner is never an easy decision to make.
It often follows many months, or years, of agonising over whether it is the right thing to do.
There is the inevitable loss of security, fear of aloneness, or fear of having failed that keep many people in a relationship—sometimes to the detriment of themselves and their families.
Thoughts like, ‘better the devil you know than the devil you don’t’, can keep you in an unhealthy relationship or the agonising question, have I given this everything I can?
Truth be told, sometimes you are just better off being apart than together. This may be a very difficult reality to accept.
Once a decision has been made, however, there are many things to contemplate and arrange to ensure that a separation can take place in as smooth and as—hopefully—amicable fashion as possible.
There are clear emotional uncertainties that lay ahead for all involved. There are also many practical issues that need to be considered.
If there are children involved in your separation, the decisions made to ensure the welfare of the children will be a high priority.
Immediate practical questions need to be considered such as:
- Who (if anyone) is going to move out of the family home?
- Can we afford to maintain two houses?
- Who will the children spend their time with?
- How can we minimise the impact on the kids?
- How will I support myself?
- What are we going to do with our assets?
Let’s focus on question five, how will I support myself? To answer this question you may need to ask yourself follow up questions such as:
- Do I have access to any funds?
- Do we have joint or separate bank accounts?
- Where is my salary being deposited?
- Who will pay the bills/mortgage/rent?
- Do I need to limit my partner’s access to my funds?
- Should I cancel our joint credit cards?
- Should I cancel any recurring accounts that are not required?
- What do I need to do to protect my existing assets?
There may be many uncertainties during this time that can feel too overwhelming and frightening to address. In the end, you may just choose to stay out of the fear of having to imagine a life after separation.
This does not in any way mean that you should just get up and leave at the first sign of trouble, but too many spouses stay in their marriages for the wrong reasons.
Most of us may have experienced, at some point in our life, that gut feeling that lets us know that we need to act, but we don’t—out of fear and uncertainty.
Being well organised and practical can support you when it comes to making some of those extremely difficult decisions. Decisions that require courage and faith, but set us on a path to something new.
If you are looking to not only understand your rights but also find that practical support, we can help.
Feel free to schedule a call with us today.
